i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
