We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is Oprah even human
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
