I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
