i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
