I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
