This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is the high leading the old right now
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize