garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you didnt know i had herpes?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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