Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
