and you said cock pushups were impossible
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
