Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
