I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
