some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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