It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
