The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
not ubering you a puppy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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