garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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