i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
