does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
