I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
