Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i out mim tonsoeep
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