Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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