i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize