so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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