For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Text me some of your sweat
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
