I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
