Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
