i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have surprise drugs for everyone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
