he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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