Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
