I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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