she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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