There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I cockslap morals
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
