If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
