she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
