i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
operation harelip BJ is a go
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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