Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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