There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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