Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
