Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
