dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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