Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
