Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you will always have a special place in my vag
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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