I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
