it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
