I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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