Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
