if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
