Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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