New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize