so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
