I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
