dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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