glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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