I'm drive I can fine osifer
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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