She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
